Dear Birth Mother,
Warmest welcome as you read this letter and hear our hearts. Our family is far from perfect and on a journey of seeking joy, embracing community, learning from mistakes, and trusting God through our challenges to a place of peace.
If you are reading this, you are considering adoption. Our admiration for you goes beyond words. The choices that you are faced with are incredibly difficult and your courage to explore the options is humbling. Whether you choose to parent or to place your baby with another family, this child is a part of you and always will be. The significance of your consideration of adoption is beyond what most people are capable of. You have our deepest respect.
You may be asking the question, “These crazy people already have 4 kids! Why would they want more?”. Great question! We will get there, but first a little back story. John grew up as a single child, and aside from occasional out of state trips to see cousins, ran fairly solo along with his mom. Shannon on the other hand, grew up in a family of six, and to this day shares a strong friendship with her siblings. Early in marriage, both were sold on the idea of a large family. From the start of marriage almost 10 years ago, adoption was talked about and revisited over and over again.
Serenity came along shortly after getting married and as a firstborn, taught us some important lessons about parenthood. When she was 1 year old, we pursued becoming foster parents. A few days into 2016, Emma came to our home as a 2 month old foster baby. Our world was rocked and transformed. Through a long series of events, we adopted this little girl who we are completely in love with. An undeserved gift that has shaped and changed our lives. Jack and AJ came along after Emma and we found that having 4 kids, ages 5 and under, kept us on our toes, brought with it little sleep, uncontrolled laughter, plenty of chaos, daily gratitude, and a distinct need for the help of family and friends. We have found that alone, we are not great at the task of leading this family and turning the everyday challenges into moments of learning, growth, and connection. However, we are not alone. We have enthralled Grandparents, devoted Auties and Uncles, persistent neighbors bringing by weekly bread, and involved friends who keep showing up for good and hard times. We have celebrated a deep connection with our church group and been humbled by the day to day life that is shared with co-workers. Because of these expressions of community, our children are being loved and shaped by many more people than just the two of us.
As of Fall 2021, we are 9½ years into marriage with children Serenity (7), Emma (6), Jack (4), and AJ (2). John’s work as a software developer keeps him problem solving and affords a flexible schedule. Shannon’s work as Director of Housing at a local university is energizing and constantly changing. On the evening and weekends, there is lots of outside play, home cooked meals, craft projects, reading, time with people we love, and dates with kids to get some of that special one-on-one time.
So what about that question, “Why more kids?”. We have 3 biological children and 1 adopted child currently. Adoption has continued to be on our heart all along the way. We can’t wait to welcome a child into our home who not only will be loved by us as parents, but also loved by some really cool siblings. We believe this child will be embraced by the many people in our lives who continue to show up day after day to do this life together.
Our hope is for you to find the road that is right for you and your baby. You are such an important part of who this child is and will be throughout their life. Our prayer in this process is for our grace-filled and courageous birth mothers to know they are loved and respected. Thank you for your precious time and it would be an honor to meet you someday.
John and Shannon