Blog
An Empty Cradle
Posted by Cindy Miller on March 15, 2010 at 8:27 am
An empty cradle? What kind of gift?
It’s one that offers you the opportunity to grow as you dream and work to fill it!
Not that all biological children come about as a result of no dreaming, no heartache, no preparation, and no work…but acknowledging that dreaming, heartache, preparation and work are almost always prerequisites for adoption!
I can remember as a little girl dreaming of being a mother…knowing in my heart that’s what I wanted more than anything…picking out names…holding my dolls as if they were real because I had such a desire…such a tangible feeling…such a need…to be a mother!
And after years of infertility, after years of dreaming yet still unfulfilled as a mother…I remember making the decision to adopt…facing mounds of paperwork and requirements…then finally being told “You’re approved!”…which only then opens the door to the hard part of adopting…the WAITING!
You decide to do something constructive with the waiting time. You start reading and preparing. You watch how others handle their children and you decide to remember or forget that approach to parenting. You paint the nursery and put the crib up and select the nursery’s theme…but the crib is still empty. All of a sudden, it seems everybody at the mall has a baby…everybody at church has a baby…everybody has a baby…everybody…except you, even those who don’t take care of them have babies, those who neglect them have babies, those who wish they didn’t have them have babies…everybody…except you. Then you remember Psalm 37:4, “Delight yourself in the LORD and he will give you the desires of your heart.” Your faith grows. God’s comfort comes to you again full force and you resume the task of preparing for that desire to be fulfilled. Your friend’s baby has colic…you read about colic and remedies and survival techniques for the parents. Because people know you’re approved to adopt, you find out there are people all around you connected to adoption in some way…you hear stories…stories of perfect children, products of adoption, and imperfect children, products of adoption…you wonder which yours will be. You study up on nature versus nurture. You remember Proverbs 22:6, “Train a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not turn from it,”…and your faith grows, reminding and convincing you that God has provided you the perfect book on parenting, and not only did He leave you instructions, He also promised He will be with you through the “perfect” or the “imperfect” child. Your faith grows.
Because of your empty cradle, you have concentrated not just on preparing physically for your child but preparing spiritually for your child…you have learned to rely more fully on God for your peace and your contentment…you have learned to allow Him to carry your frustration and anxiety, a trait you definitely will need during your child-rearing years…and you have gained more of an understanding of His desire for you as His child as you have yearned for your own…
Then it happens…THE BABY…
And you realize there is not enough waiting time to fully prepare you for the joy of what you had dreamed of and worked toward. But now…your heart, your spirit, and your cradle are full!
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Cindy! Beautifully put…have you been in my head lately, getting my memories put down on paper?!? We love you guys!
Jennifer and David Eastland and
Zachary, John (CH ‘03), Thomas (CH ‘04), Mary Clare, and Andrew (CH ‘08)
